September 13, 2016


Something happened Sunday that upset me so I've impulsed bought a few items since... something I didn't used to do (in my defense I've also completed more chores around the house to blow off steam, too). A new bathroom plant to replace the one I killed, some fancy health food, a pho dinner, a $15 ball that supposedly Kafka won't chew up, a new SCOBY, etc.


Exhibit A: 


That little beauty happened before 8 AM this morning as I was pulling out of my driveway prior to having any coffee. I heard a little... familiar, but forgotten crunch I hadn't heard since my teenage years. My lovely boyfriend's Jeep's rear end had been jutting out into the driveway jussssst a little bit...and I hadn't been clever (read: responsible) enough to bother look around and notice it before backing directly out. (A note on his car: looks better than mine.)

There are a lot of frustrating things about it! First, that I did see his Jeep before I got in my car and just didn't notice that it was sticking out in the way, which is part of the reason I didn't bother looking around - I thought I was in the clear. Second, that I was almost dropped from my car insurance this time last year because someone ran something that said I'd had two wrecks in the span of 5 years... my last car wreck that I was responsible for was when I was 19, but my car was in a minor accident involving a culvert and another driver late at night maybe a year and a half or so the time I was able to convince them to drop it since it had been so long since my other wreck and I wasn't technically responsible for the accident just at the end of 5 years but now... My car insurance could try to drop me again because there's been two accidents within the span of a couple years. Third, that it was so easily avoidable, that literally if my car had been an inch over before backing out it never might've happened. Fourth and finally, that even though to me it looks like they could pop out the dent, pop the bumper back in, and maybe do a little buffing... I also know how this business goes and I'm probably going to need a whole new bumper.

Breathing break!

However: after getting those things off my chest (and you do have to get the bad stuff out, I don't care what anyone says: you can't just be positive and not put the bad energy somewhere), I choose to look at the positives.

  • It was super minor! No one was hurt, both cars are perfectly driveable, and if my car weren't so new I might not have bothered getting it (fully?) fixed because it's so minor. 
  • Peter was super nice about it. I thought he'd kinda freak since the Jeep's his baby and all but he even apologized because he "should have told me [his] car was parked like that" even though, while that might've been nice, this thing was 100% my fault, and he was apologizing!
  • I've actually been lucky that I've never been in a wreck with a super angry person like you see in movies. The only true moving car collision wreck I've ever been in (at 19...with my 89 year old grandmother on our way to Thanksgiving!) was another lady apologizing and telling me she'd tell the cops it wasn't my fault (I think she knew she slammed on her breaks a bit too abruptly, but again, it was still technically my fault). 
  • I just happened to end up getting that new roommate, so I have a little extra cash I wasn't planning on having. Granted, I was just going to pretend I wasn't getting it and rebuild my savings, but times like this is exactly what savings are for. 
  • Life is life. This is precisely what "Life in its Natural State" is all bout...not just a nod to Arkansas. Things like this just happen, and no matter how easily avoidable they might have been (you're probably always going to feel that way/like an idiot), chances say they're bound to happen sooner or later. I'm fortunate this one came out in such a small way (i.e. a dent and not like the time I was without plumbing for weeks shortly after becoming a new homeowner). 
So those are a few things directly related to this incident. And it's been a while since I posted some GRATITUDE items so it seems like an appropriate time to focus my thinking energy on those to replace my worries: 
  • I'm grateful for gaining more thoughtful friends in my life, who truly care about me, whether they know me a lot or a little. I wouldn't say I've had a lot of "fake" friends throughout my 25 years (I tend to just keep a few meaningful ones and none of the rest), but I really feel like I'm coming to an age where I have wonderful, supportive, mature people in my life who make you dinner just because they like seeing you or bring you sympathy gives when you're not home. I've always been more of the giver and now I have to check myself to make sure I'm not moochin' off some empowering women. 
  • I'm grateful I finally remembered to bring a blanket to work! (Our new office is freezing and I'd been forgetting for a week+.) 
  • I'm grateful I had the means to buy a few extra things these last couple of weeks - as I began at the beginning of this blog, impulsive, emotional buys are not super healthy but the simple fact that I'm able to do that, despite how little I make, when many others aren't is really humbling. 
  • I'm grateful I've found several great blogs lately. I soak up my few favorites so fast and run out of reading material that I'll also start following ones that don't necessarily speak to me for something to read, so it's always refreshing to find ones that align with what I'm looking for. There was a time you couldn't have pulled a book from my hands but, for better or for worse, 
  • I'm grateful my new roommate is crafty and I have plans to entrap her in showing me her ways so I can, you know, crochet the next time I'm upset and not buy a giant plan for the bathroom.
  • I'm grateful fall is beginning to show itself. I actually don't care for pumpkin spice lattes (I love pumpkin, I just think they're bland and would take a salted caramel mocha any day) nor do I own a pair of UGGs, but the remaining factors of all those comics suit me. I also love fall because my non-central-heat-and-air home feels perfect and my electric bill drops before it really rises for winter.  
Image result for comic autumn fall
I can't find the comic I was thinking of but here's Snoopy and he's just as good.
  • I'm grateful for farmers. Prior to what we will further refer to as "the incident" of the morning I was reading a post on a sweet family visiting a pick-your-own orchard and it just made me think of how grateful I am that all is not lost and the survival skill of gardening is making a comeback through Farm to School programs. And much like social work is a much needed but poorly paid job, the farmers who feed us have it even worse. 
  • Speaking of food, I'm really grateful for the restaurants in Northwest Arkansas! Not only are most of them creative and delicious - many are non-chains - but so many of them support local farmers too by using locally sourced ingredients, in which everybody wins.
  • I'm grateful our weeks have been slightly lighter as we finish up our work with a few families before taking on the new ones.
  • I'm grateful for wherever these newfound energy levels are coming from... as I was mentioning in yesterday's post, it's not exactly steroid-speed-level energy, but I've been procrastinating less and accomplishing more than usual and I'm not in a fog of depression or sinus infection and I like it
Anyways, that's my rant for today - if you've made it to the bottom... wow, thanks for sticking it out with me. 

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