April 5, 2016

Knock Knock: A Return from Hiatus

Wow! It's been some time, eh? I can't begin to tell you the number of times I've begun to update this blog--even to write almost completed posts. I suppose it just never felt right. Today I'm here to say the time is right to get back into business/my keyboard.

I may not take pictures fit for a gallery, I may not have Taza's impeccable bone structure or cherub-like children, I may not create many of my own recipes from scratch and no marbled table to photograph them on, and (as I learned since my last post) I may not have the greenest of thumbs (RIP Pothos)...but I am a human, and all humans live lives, and all lives are stories worth telling.

In the last year, I've changed jobs, trading my soul to the state for a raise and a promise of upward mobility/being home before 5 pm--and Friday is my final day at said job. I will be buying my soul back with yet another humble raise while still returning to the fieldwork of helping children and families be successful. I've made new friends and traded out for new roommates. I've indefinitely paused grad school, realizing my LPC may not be what's best for my career goals, or at least not right now, and there's no shame in admitting that (nor any shame at stopping the student loans before they become even larger). Kafka has stopped chewing important items (we'll ignore the time he trapped himself in the laundry room while I was at work and scratched up that beautiful antique door).

I have seen God's kingdom of Yosemite, sled down scorching White Sands, indulged in fresh cheese and chinotto from Casa Della Mozzarella, caught the sunrise over Ongtupqahiked all over the Ozarks, and star-gazed from my own gabled roof. I funded my first brew (a chocolate-coconut porter, you knew I'd go for decadent) and went an impressively long time without dyeing my hair (before caving into this current red).


It wasn't all good either and I want anyone who reads this blog to realize that--do not confuse me with that intimidating person whose Facebook timeline you love to hate in its perfection.

Irrevocable damage occurred within close relationships. My Crohn's relapsed and I had to be hospitalized for the first time since my senior year in high school. One of my favorite children at my previous job died in a horrific car crash. And don't even get me started on financial surprises.

The downs are more than myself as well. Police brutality in the form of murder for many in the black community, such as Walter Scott and Freddie Gray. Terrorism in the form of Beirut, Paris, Bamako, Tunisia, San Bernardino, Istanbul, Jakarta, Ouagadougou, Ankara, Mogadishu, Ivory Coast, Brussels--and in the form of the Charleston Church heartbreak, or in Roseburg, Lafayette, Chattanooga, Planned Parenthood. The European refugee crisis and the horrific displays of Islamophobia. Did I mention Donald Trump is a serious candidate for President as we work our way across the country in primaries/caucuses?

In turn we must recognize the justifying release of the Panama Papers. We must recognize the compelling revolution presidential-hopeful Bernie Sanders has inspired in millennials, who normally wouldn't turn out to vote in November, much less the primaries. NASA discovered flowing water on Mars. Even among the tragedies, you could always find someone doing good.
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I mean, c'mon, we legalized marriage for any two human beings that wish to marry--and adopt as well, which will have a phenomenal impact on the foster care community. We got a few things right.
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Whether in my little corner of the web or in another halfway 'round the world, it's pretty impressive how much has changed in the last year. After all: "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different..."
(C.S. Lewis - although I've read his authorship to this quote has been contested, I've never found where someone else said it first.)

To all of those who've had devastating/inspiring ups and downs while I've been away, and maybe you have a hard time recounting the adventures you've had this year, just remember: 

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Even those intimidating Facebook friends we love to hate are only sharing their highlights and have to be reminded of this. 

One of these powerful ladies on my own feed polled us today in a tender moment, asking us: How do you personally break the monotony of your everyday life?

Haven't we all been there? Feelin' that work-Netflix-sleep-repeat life going on? Feel free to share your ideas on the matter, but here's mine: it's a conscious effort. Build a list of goals to accomplish/adventure you want to have this year and pull from them when you get stuck. Make plans with someone you normally don't communicate with outside of work or social media. When you see a last minute event you're interested in but would be a little difficult to make happen last minute, go anyways. Stay busy. And document--nothing makes you feel more accomplished than meditating on and recording those accomplishments. For instance, this New Years I started...and may have eventually lost track of...the cutest index card calendar/diary I've been meaning to do for years. I've never felt more UN-monotonous than when compelled to find one interesting thing I've done each day, especially when I struggle on how to make Netflix-binging unique four days in a row--the pressure is on to live in the present. 

So plan to stay busy, and document it. And with that, I'm back--documenting my life as I move forward into the Spring of 2016. 

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